There are two laws, the law of contraction and the law of expansion. Hate others and you will go through the law of contraction. Love all, and you will go through the law of expansion. What does love mean? It means to give without any expectations, to your own people. This is a school where you will learn to give unconditionally. Then you will learn nothing is difficult for you.
First thing you should learn is just to give. Instead of arguing with your wife or children, just give them what they want. Slowly, you will discover that they have 
become so very considerate, they will never exploit your generosity. Love will completely transform you, for alone love has that power, even death does not have the power to transform you. Currently, you have likes and dislikes, but with love there is a sense of equality, you love all and exclude none. You are free. It is a joy that leads to bliss. There is so much expansion that is hidden, that is unconscious, comes forward as a part of the conscious mind. You know who is unhappy? One who is selfish. Who is happy? One who is selfless.
Your home is a miniature universe. Look at the family of Shiva. Shiva has a cobra around his neck, Ganesha rides a mouse and Parvati has a tiger and Shiva has a bull. How can they live together? It is a symbol of unity in diversity. Shiva’s family tells you there are disagreements, disparities in life, yet the goal is to be aware of, to establish unity beneath all these diversities. This can be achieved by praying to the one within or via meditation.
A wife and husband traditionally married, claim to love each other, yet remain frustrated. Why? Because they do not understand themselves. People think I will find my ideal partner, I’ll be very happy. But nothing happens, because a basic philosophy, basic understanding, basic knowledge, is missing.
People who are close to us make us feel lonesome, not strangers. Why is that? Because you expect too much from others, and others do not have the capacity. Many people think marriage is the solution for life. It is not, it is like a fortress, those who are in cannot come out and those who are outside want to get in with all suspense. One is a helpless state, another a state of suspension. We should learn our children to know one’s own self and start to relate with others after that. What do we do in the name of love? We use others, we lean on others, we become dependent. Dependency is a sort of disease.
When getting married have four understandings. Do not fight in the mornings, do not fight before going to bed, not fight while eating food, but the rest of the time we can fight. When one gets angry the other should stay quiet. Simple advice. When does one become angry? Not when you are balanced. You get angry when you are emotional, irrational. When both get angry, this will affect the children and also the neighbours. This thought pollution that you are creating will go on expanding, spreading to the whole universe. So learn to understand that the individual family is something great, meant to radiate love to the neighbours, to the whole universe.
Learn to understand everything about yourself. It doesn’t need much time. Just be thoughtful. Sit down for a few minutes. “Well honey when you are upset, I will not say anything and when I am upset, please don’t say anything. Let us have this clear contract.” Then there will be no problem. Two wheels of the same chariot can go travel the road very pleasantly, It’s difficult for a single wheel to do this. Two people in the world can do wonders, provided they adjust, provided they understand each other.
Follow the path of love called non-attachment. Attachment brings misery, non-attachment means love that gives freedom. A little bit of understanding is needed. Mothers you are the real architects, you are superior to man. You carry a child for 8-9 months, you have a power a man does not have. You are definitely superior. But don’t be proud, don’t get carried away with women’s liberation.
Parents should make some sacrifices for their children. But what do parents do? Instead of giving education to their children, they give them their problems. “Do this, do that.” “If you don’t do it, I will spank you.” The child is confused. The child grows up, but with many conflicts.
In this cosmic cycle of evolution, you are a human being. A human being has got three aspects: the animal aspect in the human being, the human being and the divine in the human being. All three combined is called a human being. Let’s all make the effort to become good human beings, to be good citizens, to love all and exclude none. That is the way to the divine.
You should learn to build your concept of life and it’s not very difficult, it is your birthright. No matter what cultural background you have, which religion you belong to, if you have not built your personal philosophy, it’s not going to help you.
You know what is your symbol? Your symbol is beautiful, it’s called a lotus. A lotus grows in the water and mud, but remains above it.
Source: Conscious living, Swami Rama
